Luke 9:23-26
Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory and in His Father's and of the holy angels."
What does denying myself, taking up my cross daily and losing my life for His sake look like for me in 2009? I've been struggling with trying to figure that out for months before I even read that today. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle. I'm fairly frugal, but I wouldn't say I am denied anything I really, really want. How do I balance good stewardship like putting some money away for retirement and trusting that God will provide in my old age so why not give all my excess away? Is hoping my 401K does well mean I'm trying to gain the whole world? Is recreational reading, watching TV or doing anything purposeless just for fun sinful and showing a lack of denying myself?
I don't necessarily think losing my life means dying. But rather having Christ live through me, my actions and my words. Seeing my life as not mine to control anymore but as one yielded to His purposes and not my own. But again I come back to what does that look like in everyday living. Vocational change? Changes in areas of how and where I serve? Changes in how I am in relationships? I'm sure these are things I shall continue to ponder and seek devine guidance on for some time to come.
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